Fantastically Compelling and Innappropriate
by Pippa Kennedy
Summary: Begins in "Hell-O". Kurt still has feelings for Finn and decides he should pursue a friendship with this confused boy. Finn has himself convinced he's not into guys. At least for now. Rated M for future chapters!
1. Hello

Hello fellows Gleeks :) So this is my second fan fiction I've ever written. My first one was somewhere around 8 years ago, a Draco/Hermione fic (I have a thing for the unlikely pairs). I've been reading a ton of 'Kinn' fics as of late...and I decided to give my own a shot! I know the first chapter isn't super long, but I'm just getting into it, want to get opinions and see where the writing takes me!

I'm big on staying in character and letting their relationship build gradually, so they won't get together right away :). There will certainly be thoughts and 'looks' and minor flirts along the way though. Rated M because...well eventually it'll probably get a little smutty...lol

Kurt POV

"_Hello, I love you won't you tell me your name..."_

I was walking by the auditorium when I heard him. Listening to Finn sing always gave me chills. While his voice didn't have the best tone I had ever heard, Finn put so much heart into everything he sang. He had to try that much harder since it didn't come to him naturally. The bell rang for the second time and disrupted my lustful thoughts. I hurried to class before anyone noticed me lingering.

I slipped into my seat, and back to consideration of Finn. The poor guy had been through so much in the last couple months. First he finds out his girlfriend is pregnant, then, after months of being harassed by Quinn for being a terrible father/boyfriend he finds out the baby isn't even his! Not only is it not his, but it's Pucks. He was betrayed by the two people he was closest to. Finn needed someone to support him in his time of need...and I'm just the guy.

At Glee practice after school, Finn sang his 'Hello' song for the whole group. All the girls were drooling over him, I at least tried to appear indifferent even though inside I was screaming like a twelve year old girl. At the end of his song, Brittany and Santana followed him to the side of the classroom. I couldn't hear what they were talking about, but Quinn looked livid. I sat quietly reorganizing my bag while they finished chatting. If I was going to offer my support, no time was better than the present.

Finn POV

I could see him out the corner of my eye. Giving me 'googly' eyes. Kurt thought his crush was a secret. That maybe I was too oblivious to notice. Seriously though, he might as well where a shirt that says "I want you Finn Hudson" for as subtle as he acts.

Even though I got a lot of crap from the Football team for being in 'homo-explosion', and I would never admit it to anyone...it was kind of flattering that Kurt had such a big crush on me. There are certainly worse guys I could imagine fawning over me. He's even sort of pretty...in a strictly heterosexual way of course.

Britt and Santana swaggered over to me at the end of my song and started babbling about how awesome my dancing was. Did I dance? Man I don't even remember dancing, I thought I had just put on my 'sexy rocker' face.

My train of thought was interrupted by Santana asking if I wanted to go out.

"With which one of you?" I asked suspiciously. They smiled and replied "Both of us."

Yea that's right. I'm such a stud _two_ girls wanted to go on a date with me, isn't that every guys dream? Maybe this is exactly what I need, something totally different to help me 'figure out who I am'. I could still see Kurt watching me, his eyes furrowed like he was trying to listen to our conversation. He's jealous, how cute.

Since I had just sung I had to put away some of the sound equipment before I could leave. Kurt hung around as people filed out of the glee room. He pretended to fiddle with notebooks in his bag, but I, as a brilliant observer could tell he was dawdling. Artie and Tina were the last ones to leave the room, I grabbed my bag and hurried toward the door...

"Finn, wait!" Kurt yelled.

"Oh...um...what's up?" I continued out the door as he jogged to catch up with me.

He blushed. "Well I know that you are going through a lot right now, and I just wanted to offer myself as a 'shoulder to cry on' so to speak."

"Thanks dude, I'll keep that in mind." Kurt's eyes always startled me. I avoided having long conversations with him for that very reason. He had this flawless, porcelain skin which was currently flushed from embarrassment. His eyes...it seemed like they changed color by the minute. Sometimes they were grey...sometimes green, but right now they shone bright blue...

"Um...Finn?" he raised his perfectly arched eyebrows at me and smirked. I realized I had been gazing down at him, lost in thought.

"Sorry, I'm late for...work...see you tomorrow!" I walked away quickly. The poor boy already was crushing on me, if he thought I was gazing into his eyes it would only lead him on. I am 100% straight. I'm so straight I have a date with _two_ girls. In fact, I have a girlfriend AND I have a date with two other girls. I could never have feelings for a guy.

Kurt POV

I watched Finn scurry away to 'work' or wherever he claimed he had to be. Our little talk didn't go quite how I had hoped. Although...it was probably pretty unlikely that he would have swept me off my feet and carried me off into the sunset on a white horse. I mean, I only offered my support for his troubles. The sunset thing would have to come later.

When I got home I scanned through my iTunes looking for a good 'Hello' song. Neil Diamond had a good one, plus it related to the way he felt about Finn. It was about two friends, who realized they had feelings for each other. It could happen, right? But could they really even be considered friends? Hopefully that part would be changing soon.

So...that's the first chapter! What do you think? Please review!


	2. The Touch of a Fingertip

Okay, so here's chapter 2! It's quite a bit longer than the first one.

ETA: I decided I didn't like the pace of my story and it was making it hard for me to write more chapters! So starting with this chapter I'm editing out some stuff :) Hope you guys can bare with me.

Hope you like this next chapter!

Finn POV (Dinner with the girls)

"I mean, if he were dating say, popular pretty girls like us, he would go from dumpy to smokin'." Santana claimed.

"Uh Hello? Hey I'm right here. Do you guys mind like...including me in your conversations?"

This date was not going how I had planned, they kept insulting Rachel...plus it sort of seemed like they just wanted a free meal for making out. Don't get me wrong...two hot girls making out is totally hot. But I had thought it would maybe be a Finn sandwich, if you know what I mean.

Are they all like this? It seems like all the girls in my life are manipulative liars who want to use me as a status symbol. I just want someone who likes me, Finn, not the Football player, not the 'hot guy' or the lead male in glee club. I guess everyone has ulterior motives. Now that I really think about it, Kurt might be right. Girls are causing all the problems in my life. He did offer to help me process stuff today...maybe he's got some other kernels of wisdom I could use. Things ended a little awkward though, I should apologize to him at school tomorrow.

Kurt POV

I was nervous about my 'Hello' song for this afternoon, I mean...I'm pretty much proclaiming my love for Finn. I hope he doesn't run out of the classroom screaming. Our conversation yesterday (if you could call it that) left much to be desired. He had some kind of inner turmoil going on, I wonder if it had anything to do with what Brittany and Santana had asked him about.

As I walked towards the glee room I saw Finn leaning against the wall right outside the door. His eyes were shut and he was mumbling to himself. I cleared my throat as I got closer and his eyes shot open to meet my stare.

"Hi Kurt." That lopsided grin always made me swoon.

"Why _hello_ there Finn...get it..._HELLO_, because of our songs this week." I chuckled to myself...what a wit I could be.

He looked at me oddly. "Um...yea, so anyways I wanted to talk to you. More like apologize I suppose. What you said yesterday was really sweet, I wanted to thank you and also take you up on your offer. Are you busy after school today?"

This just simply couldn't be happening. Finn wanted to spend time with _me_, _alone_ and _**outside of school**_. My inner diva did a couple leaps of joy before I answered him. I tried not to sound too desperate "Not if you want to spend time together!" _Damn my word vomit!_ "What I mean is...if you need me I'd be more than happy to find time in my schedule." That sounded less crazed, right?

Finn seemed not to notice, "Great, we can go to my house, you can drive us there after rehearsal."

We walked into the room together, most everyone else was already there sitting in their chairs. I found Mercedes and sat next to her. She jabbed me in the side and whispered "What were you and white boy talking about? We could all see you through the door...and you looked way too happy."

"I'm going over Finn's house after school," I squealed.

"You better watch it! I thought you were over him, don't go getting yourself caught up in his drama. You don't need your heart broken a second time." She eyed me suspiciously.

"No need to worry darling, this is strictly emotional support. I offered myself as a sounding board yesterday and he accepted. Nothing more than friends having a talk, okay?" Of course that may have been what I had offered, but I was honestly hoping for a little more. Finn was so incredible, handsome, heartfelt singer, trustworthy...I could go on but do I really need to?

"Kurt it's your turn to sing today," Mr. Schue spoke over the chatter.

Shit, I thought. If I sang that song right before I went over Finn's house it would make things totally awkward. Do I know another 'Hello' song off the top of my head? Did the title have to be hello or did the lyrics just have to include hello? I needed a song that didn't involve proclaiming love...and something easy.

I walked over to the guitarist and asked if he knew the song Cherry Bomb by the Runaways. He took a look at me, laughed and said "Yea, are you sure you know it?"

"Yes I do...smartass..." I mumbled the last part as he started the strum out the beginning beats.

Can't stay at home, can't stay in school

Old folks say ya poor little fool

Down the street, I'm the girl next door

I'm the fox you've been waiting for

Hello daddy, Hello mom

I'm your Ch Ch Ch Ch Cherry Bomb

Hello world, I'm your wild girl

I'm your Ch Ch Ch Ch Cherry Bomb

I finished up my song, ignoring the weird looks I was getting from my classmates.

"Come on guys...I think we've established that I like to sing female songs. It fits my range better." I tried to defend myself.

Schue spoke first "It's not that Kurt...it was just kind of a weird song choice for you. I feel like your songs usually relate to you more, but I suppose if that's the one you chose."

"What's a Cherry Bomb?" Puck asked. "It sounds kind of dirty," he smirked.

Of course he went there. "It's not dirty Puck, it's just a term referring to the lead singer 'Cherie Curry' being sassy." I corrected him. Whatever, it was worth the confusion from my classmates to not have scared Finn away this afternoon. I didn't want to ruin the chances of being his friend before it even began.

Finn POV

"So you don't know where I live, right?" I asked Kurt as we got into his car.

"That sounded less like a question and more like an accusation Finn," I turned to look at him and gave him my best confused look I could muster.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I just didn't know if I needed to give you directions."

"Yes I need directions, I haven't the slightest clue where you live."

I mumbled occasional lefts and rights as we drove towards my house. Then I forgot that Kurt didn't know where he was going and he drove past my driveway. I guess that answered my question if he had ever secretly followed me home.

"Whoops, that was my house! Turn around." I said quickly.

"Way to be on top of things Finn," he was so cheeky.

My mom wasn't home yet, thankfully. I'm not sure how she would feel about letting me go to my room with a very obviously gay guy. Was my mom homophobic? I guess it had never come up, I doubted it, but it probably doesn't mean she'd be cool with me hooking up with a guy in the house.

Why am I thinking about hooking up with Kurt? He's here to talk, and I'm totally straight.

I glanced over at him. He was looking in the mirror by the door fixing his hair. It looked perfect already, I had no idea what he could possibly be doing to it. He was wearing his form fitting black pants, with some kind of checkered blazer. Kurt could pull off just about anything, I think he could probably even wear a skirt and make it look good.

"So...let's go to my room." Maybe this was a bad idea.

"Lead the way Finnigan," Kurt bounced up behind me ready to follow. He was pretty adorable...no one ever called me Finnigan. I tried to hide my smile as I walked upstairs.

I opened the door to my room slowly, trying to remember if I left any underwear sitting out. Shit there were dirty socks and a couple pairs of boxers sitting on my bed. I turned around to Kurt.

"Can you just...wait out here for a second, I need to move a few things." I squeezed in through the crack and grabbed my laundry. Shoving it under my bed I looked around my room. There was lotion and dirty tissues sitting on my bedside table. I threw away the tissues and put the lotion in a drawer. I'm sure it would be no surprise that I masturbated...but it didn't need to be so obvious!

"Okay come in!" I yelled, and Kurt walk in slowly with his hands over his eyes.

"Is it safe?" he asked peeking through his fingers. A sly grin on his face told me he knew exactly what I had been putting away.

"It was never dangerous...just...revealing." I replied, laughing a little.

"Great!" Kurt plopped himself on my bed. "So Mr. Hudson what did you want to talk about?"

I stood in front of Kurt, trying to remember what I had even wanted to talk about. Something about girls? Right. He was looking up at me expectantly, his eyes were grey today.

"Did you know your eyes change color?" I blurted out. Smooth Finn.

"I've been told that before, what color are they right now?"

"Grey."

Well this conversation was going swimmingly. Maybe I should sit down next to him. I slowly lowered myself onto the bed, a healthy distance from Kurt's leg which was bouncing to some song he must have been singing in his head.

"Remember a couple weeks ago...you told me that my problem was girls." I started.

"Yes, Finn. I was teasing though, I know that you like girls."

"Yea...well I was thinking...and I feel like you might be right."

Kurt stared at me blankly, his mouth hanging open in an 'O'.

"I'm not saying I'm gay! Just that, all the girls in my life seem to be kind of shitty."

"Oh Finn," he smiled. "You do seem to have bad taste in women, I mean, Rachel Berry? Really?" he put a hand on my leg and I felt a spark shoot up from my thigh. I jumped a little.

"Are you okay?"

"Yea, I'm fine." I replied.

"Sorry I won't touch you again, didn't mean to cross 'that' line." he looked taken aback.

"No, actually it was kind of nice." I put my hand out to Kurt's which was back in his lap and placed my whole hand on top of his. My fingers and palm were burning from the warmth of his skin. It was weird...I had never had this kind of reaction from touching Quinn or Rachel. It started to freak me out so I took my hand away as casually as I could.

"So...anyways. What do you want to do about these shitty girls?"

My hand felt cold after removing it from Kurt's lap.

"Do you think they're worth it? I mean...all the times I get shit on by them, are they worth the trouble?" Kurt looked confused.

"Finn you do remember that you're talking to Kurt Hummel right? The gay kid? The one who wants nothing more from woman except fashion chat and broadway recitals? I have never been with, nor do I ever plan to be with a woman...so I really don't think I'm qualified to answer that question for you."

"I guess I'm just confused. Don't ever repeat this...but I'm still a virgin. What if sex isn't as good as everyone makes it out to be?"

"I'm a romantic Finn. I'm fairly naive when it comes to physical acts of intimacy. That's why I like Broadway musicals, because the touch of fingertips is as sexy as it gets." Kurt looked down at his feet, clearly flushed with embarrassment. "As forthwith as I may be with my sexuality sometimes I pretty much know nothing on the matter. Maybe you just need to get it over with?"

It was silent for a few moments with both of us looking around the room at opposite corners.

"So with that, I bid you adieu. My father is probably wondering where I am. I'll see you tomorrow at school?" He looked a bit uncomfortable, did he regret coming over?

"See you then Kurt." I watched him walk out the door. Unsure if I should follow him. I saw him pause in the hall.

"It's only polite to walk me to the door Mr. Hudson," he smiled timidly as I left my bed and followed him downstairs.

"Till tomorrow?" I placed my hand on his once more. His eyes shown emerald up at me.

"Of course."

How am I going to figure this out?

I hope no one is too disappointed with the edit! I just think Finn needs a bit more time to come to terms with his feelings :) Always review!


	3. The Big V

Another chapter! Woohoo! So I couldn't resist any longer...I had to put a little juicy goodness in this one. I hope no one minds that I use some of the lines from the show, I feel like it's a good connect to keep it true to the actual story. I of course don't own any of the characters or lines I stole from the show :) Or song lyrics I use for that matter!

Kurt POV

The last couple days have been a bit awkward between Finn and I. That night at his house...wow...I still haven't quite processed it. I know that I've always talked the big talk about wanting Finn, but I guess I never truly believed he would come around to my side of the field. It all happened so quickly that I just panicked. I stole a glance across the lunchroom to the football table. Finn was chatting animatedly to one of his goonie 'friends'. He must have felt my eyes on, because he turned to look at me almost immediately. One of those big warm smiles spread across his face and I directed my attention back to my food. Okay...so it was me that was making things awkward.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Hey you," Finn spoke softly leaning down to my ear.

"H-h-ey Finn..." I choked on my words at the feeling of his warm breath on my neck.

"So how do you feel about this Madonna stuff this week, Puck and I were saying that we should be able to sing something else. I mean...Madonna is all about _women_ empowerment." He slid into an empty seat next to me.

"We should all be empowering the women Finn. Being able to sing Madonna will show the girls in the club how much we respect them not just as individuals, but also as women."

"Yea, I suppose your right. You're sort of a girl...so I guess you understand them better."

He did not just say what I think he said.

"Finn Hudson! I may have some feminine qualities, but I am NOT a girl in any way, shape or form. Not to be crude, but I have a dick just like you." He better not think that he can explain away his attraction to me by calling me girly.

"Dude, sorry. I know you're not a girl. I didn't mean it like that...just that you maybe get them better because they talk to you about stuff that they wouldn't with me."

Okay...maybe I flew off the handle a little. I have a tendency to do that. "No, I'm sorry. I am sort of honorary girl when you get down to it." I stuck out my hand, "Apology accepted?"

Instead of shaking my hand, Finn grabbed my fingers and pulled my hand up to his mouth. "Always," his lips touched my hand ever so lightly before he stood up and walked away from the table.

I swooned.

Finn POV

Maybe that was a bit bold, but he just stuck his hand right out in front of me! What was I supposed to do?

Kurt had been ignoring me since 'that night'. I can't say I totally blame him, but it's actually been a blessing in disguise. It gave me a lot of time to think, about who I am, what I want...and how I can figure out what I want. Santana came up to me this morning telling me it was time to lose the 'big V' as she put it. At first it seemed absurd, but the more I thought about it, it may be a good opportunity to examine my sexuality. I mean...neither Rachel or Quinn ever gave it up, so who knows when the next occasion would occur. Kurt wanted a decision...a commitment, how could I offer him that without knowing for sure what I was into?

Santana happened to be at her locker as I walked out of the lunchroom. No time like the present I suppose.

"Hey...um...so that offer of yours. To lose the big 'V'?" Santana nodded, a smile crept across her face. "I'm in."

Later that night...

"Do you think they have room service in this place, because I want a burger."

"I thought I'd feel different after..." Sex was nothing how I thought it would be.

"Yea, well I've noticed that it takes twenty or so times before the feeling of accomplishment kicks in. There's no menu so you're going to have to take me to a burger joint." How could she be so casual? "How do you feel? She asked finally.

"I don't feel anything...because it didn't mean anything."

I felt numb as I left the hotel to walk home. I had told my mom that I was spending the night out, but after that fiasco I didn't feel like spending the night with Santana. I needed air...some time to decompress. Good thing I had almost an hour before I would get home. So what did I want? One thing was for sure, I wanted a meaningful relationship. I don't know how people could sleep around or have one night stands. I felt more emotion by holding Kurt's hand in my room than I felt the whole time with Santana.

More than anything right now, I wanted to be with Kurt. I want to hold him, run my hand along his jawline, kiss him until he's weak in the knees. Did that make me gay? I suppose it at least made my bisexual. I had been looking around at other guys at school over the last few days and no one else really caught my eye. I knew why though...there just simply wasn't another guy like Kurt. He was one in a million, at least in Ohio.

The night was quiet, it had been dark for at least an hour so all the kids were in their houses. I heard some music, quiet at first, but as I walked further along the street I could hear it clearer. I knew that song, I think it was called _Delaying Gravity_, Rachel and Kurt had sang it at the beginning of the year. I stopped walking for a minute and just listened. It was coming from the house right next to me, all the lights in the house were off except for a window I could see went to the basement. The song was spilling out the cracked window. I smiled as realization dawned on me, to the left was a Black Escalade in the driveway and that familiar voice sent chills down my spine. This was Kurt's house, and he was singing his heart out in his room, unaware that I stood outside entranced.

Without even thinking I picked up a small stone and tossed it at his window. The singing stopped, so I picked up another one and tossed it in the same spot. Wasn't this what they did in romantic movies? Prince Charming throwing stones at the window of his beloved, it was all chivalrous or something.

Kurt POV

I walked up the stairs quietly, so not to wake my dad. I was probably just hearing things anyway...but I wanted to make sure. It sounded like someone was throwing rocks at my window. I slowly opened the front door and peeked outside. I could see a shadowy figure near the sidewalk, they looked like they were pacing.

"Hello?" I whispered through the dark.

"Kurt? Is that you?" That voice...

"Finn what are you doing in my yard!"

"I thought maybe you'd like to go for a walk," though I couldn't his face through the night, I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Um...sure, but I need to find something to wear. Would you like to come in while I change?" But he was already at the door stepping inside. "Just keep quiet, my dad goes to bed early...and I don't want him knowing I have a boy in my room!"

Down in my room, where I knew we could talk without worry of being heard, my curiosity got the best of me.

"So what exactly were you doing out there tonight?" I look over at Finn who seemed to be distracted by my moisturizing station.

"How could you possibly need all of this?" He ignored me.

"Hey Mister, no deflecting. It's 10pm and you are over a half hour walk from your house. I'd like an explanation." I put my hands on my hips and gave him my best 'mom' look that I could muster.

"Dude you look like my mom right now...which totally makes what I was going to talk to you about awkward."

"Oh! You're right, that is weird. Here I'll go change and then we can go back outside to talk."

"Well, to be honest, now that we're in your room why don't we just chat in here. Plus you look totally adorable in your jammies." He winked.

"Oh fine, we can just stay here. So what's going on in that head of yours?" I looked at him curiously. I really had no idea what conclusions he had come to.

"Well...first off...I did something tonight that you might not approve of. However, I feel like it was a necessary step to determining what I wanted." He sat down on my bed, he looked disconcerted.

Oh god what did he do...

"I slept with Santana." Simple as that. He wouldn't look up at me.

"Oh." I didn't know how to respond. I hadn't been sure what he was going to say, but that was probably the last thing from my mind. "Well, good for you I guess."

"It was terrible Kurt! I'm not telling you this to hurt you, I'm telling you because it helped me realize how meaningless sex is unless you care about someone."

"What do you want me to say Finn? Congratulations on having meaningless hetero sex? People do it all the time."

"But I don't want to BE one of those people Kurt. I want a meaningful relationship with someone I care about. And Kurt, I care about you. I don't have an answer to my sexuality, but can't I just like you? Do I need to label myself in order for you to be with me?" His eyes with pleading with me.

"Of course not Finn...I guess it's just hard for me. I've always known who I am, anyone who meets me knows who I am. I wear my sexuality on my sleeve, quite literally as a matter of fact. The world labels me, there just isn't another way of being for me. But you, you have liked girls your whole life, and here comes this pretty boy that has you confused. I just don't want to get hurt Finn, d-don't you g-get that?" I was starting to choke up. On the one hand I wanted nothing more than to throw myself at him, but on the other, I was so afraid of having my heart ripped open.

"Can I see your iPod?" What a weird question. I crossed the room to my bag and searched through it.

"Why do you want it?" I asked as I handed it to him.

"There is this song...Rachel used to sing it a lot. Enough that I learned the lyrics. I forgot about it until I heard you singing that song earlier...I think it's from the same play."

"What, Defying Gravity? Is it a song from Wicked?" My heart quickened at the thought of Finn serenading me.

"Oh good! I knew you would have it, this verse best explains how I feel about you Kurt." He plugged the buds into his ear and began to sing acapella.

_I've heard it said, that people come into our lives for a reason_

_Bringing something we must learn_

_But we are led, to those who help us most grow_

_If we let them, and we help them in return_

_Well, I don't know if I believe that's true_

_But I know I'm who I am today, because I knew you_

I reached my hand out to Finn and held it tightly. He smiled at me, and I had a few tears streaming down my cheeks. Before I knew it he had put his other hand up to my face, wiping the wetness away. I closed my eyes at his touch.

All of a sudden a hand was at my back pulling me forward and warm soft lips crashed into my own. I stroked his cheek slowly, enjoying the feeling of it all. He nibbled on my bottom lip lightly, and I felt his tongue trying to gain entrance to my mouth. I parted my lips as Finn deepened the kiss and moaned loudly.

"Oh my god Finn..." I reached underneath his shirt and ran my fingers along his back. I could feel the goosebumps rise on his skin. He was obviously enjoying this as much as I was. Finn laid me back on my bed, partially resting on top of me his lips ravishing mine. I could feel his cock growing hard, grinding into me, and then his hand was at my waist band pushing underneath.

"No...wait." I grabbed his hand away. "I'm not ready for that Finn. Don't be mad...but it's just all too quick. Could we maybe just cuddle?"

"Don't worry about making me mad! Being with you, like this, even if it's just cuddling is more than I could have hoped for. Do you mind being the little spoon?"

"I don't think I could be the big one if I tried," I smiled as Finn wrapped one arm around me, and reached up to stroke my hair with his other hand. I settled back into him and sleep engulfed me before I uttered another word.

Read and review please! Hope you enjoyed. It's kind of late right now...so I'll probably end up reading the chapter tomorrow and go "What was I thinking that makes no sense!"

-Pippa


	4. A Chair is Not a House

Hello! Sorry so long between updates. I'm too damn busy for my own good :) Hope everyone had a nice fourth of July (if you celebrate).

I of course, don't own anything. I know I can't stay 100% canon for the whole story, but I am trying to hold onto it for as long as I think it'll fit. I rearranged/mashed up some of the scenes that happened in Home because I felt it fit with my story a bit better.

"Hey Kurt?" There was a knock at my bedroom door.

I yawned loudly and rolled over. My eyes were still shut when I answered. "What's up Dad?".

A low groan next to me made my lids fly open. The sleeping form of Finn Hudson was laying next to me. Last nights events came rushing back and I realized how much my dad would freak if he found a boy, especially Finn in my bed.

My door began creaking open. "Well I was on my way out to the grocery store and I wanted to see if you had your list together yet."

I leapt out of bed and up the stairs before my dad could come down. Red face and heart racing I gave him the most angelic face I could muster. "Oh dad, I left it on the fridge. Just make sure you get actual leeks this time...scallions just don't cut the mustard."

"They're oniony green and have a long stem, how the hell am I supposed to know the difference?" He paused for a minute and gave me a once over. "I'm not a man of fashion, Kurt, but you look like a disheveled mess. Did you get in a fight with Frankenstein last night or something?"

I tried to laugh it off as his reference came dangerously close to the nick name of the boy in my bed. I couldn't, however, fight the blush, damn my porcelain skin.

"Okay well I'm going to shower and clean myself up dad, I'll see you later!" I shut the door quickly and latched it. _That was close._ Unfortunately something much worse came out of his mouth a second later.

"Why don't you invite Finn Hudson over for pizza tonight, his mom and I have a date over at Breadstix and Carol said he's seemed kind of lonely lately." My dad was a loud guy to begin with, but with the door shut he must have felt the need to overcompensate his tone. I think the neighbors probably heard him as well.

I turned around and leaned against the door, sliding to the floor with a big sigh. If there was a God, Finn didn't hear that. I hadn't quite gotten around to telling him about our parents. I don't know how he'd feel about dating his 'semi' step brother if you could call it that.

"Kurt?" _Shit...he is awake._

"Yes dear?" Maybe if I played it off as no big deal he wouldn't care.

I could hear him getting out of bed and his sleepy form filled up the bottom of my staircase. "What the hell Kurt, how fucking long have you known our parents are dating?" _He cared_. "That's just wrong in so many ways. My mom isn't ready to date...she's not over my dad. He's the only guy she loves."

I stood up and started down the stairs. "Finn don't you think that's a little selfish? I mean sure I miss my mom but she's been gone for eight years. My dad is lonely, he needs someone to love who is _currently_ alive."

"I'm not having this conversation with you. It's too early and I'm going to say something I regret." I could tell he was restraining his temper. He stormed back into my room to grab his shirt.

I really didn't know what to say, I was expecting this to blow up in another direction. I followed him and put a hand on his back. "Finn..."

"DONT TOUCH ME!" He pulled away from me and was out of my room before I could utter another word.

I hurried up after him. "At least let me give you a ride home..."

"How did our parents even meet?"

"I-" He cut me off.

"You introduced them didn't you? Fuck Kurt that's not cool!"

"But-"

"No, I have nothing to say to you. Bye." He bolted from the house in a rage and left me standing in despair.

Finn's POV

What right did he have! My mom and I are perfectly happy just the way we are. The walk home had calmed me down a bit, but I was still pretty steamed. I rounded the corner to my house and saw a moving van in the yard.

"What the hell..." As I got to the door some guy was moving my mom's bed set into the van. Was someone robbing us?

"MOM!"

"Oh hi sweetie, how was your night with Puck?" Puck? Oh...right. So many lies.

"It was fine. Mom what's going on here?" The guy with the van walked past me and asked my mom about the recliner in the living room. My _dad's_ recliner.

"Oh. It doesn't look like much! But the parts all work." Was she really trying to sell it?

"Ooh, my wife would looove this, sciatica." His hand was resting on _his_ chair. I couldn't take it anymore.

"Mom no!" I turned to give this 'thief' my best intimidating glare. "It's not for sale." He obviously got the message and left the house in a hurry.

I paused to collect myself.

"This is dad's chair." I grabbed a photo from the end table. "This is the only picture of the two of us. It's the only picture there will ever be of the two of us, and he's sitting in this chair."

"It's a chair honey, it's not him."

"Is this because of Mr. Hummel?"

A smile lit up her face, "I think I'm in love." That was abrupt.

"How could you be in love with someone who isn't dad? This family works, I don't want it to get screwed up!" How could she be so insensitive?

"This family manages, we get by. You just don't know any differently because you think what we have is normal."

I had no response.

"I take his urn to bed with me every night and I talk to him about my day. Sixteen years and I'm asking him for advice. And waiting to hear his laugh and for him to tell me that he loves me. He never does and he never will.

"I won't do it, I'm not moving and I'm not ready. He wouldn't want you to do this if I wasn't ready!"

"You didn't know him Finn! Sweetheart, I love you so much. We don't need anymore memories or ghosts. We need a family...a home." She kissed me and I could feel the tears running down her cheeks.

Kurt POV

The house phone rang next to me. "Hello?"

"Hi...um...Kurt?" It sounded like Carol, but I could hear tears in her voice.

"Yea, hold on let me grab my dad." I'm sure this had to do with what Finn found out this morning, and I didn't feel like doing damage control. "Hey Dad! Phone!"

Well...okay I might not want to talk to Carol about what happened but I still want to know. I snuck into the kitchen where I could hear my dad talking.

"He just needs time Carol...yea I know...well you don't need to sell the chair...If the time comes that you move in here I'm happy to make room for it...I can understand why he would want to keep it, it's the only thing left of his dad...don't beat yourself up about it honey...just let him have his space he'll come to you when he wants to talk...okay...I love you too." he hung up the phone and looked up, catching me watching his conversation.

"Is everything okay with Finn?" Did he just say I love you to Carol?

"Yea, he's upset because Carol sold some stuff today. She tried to sell an old recliner that was his dad's. I guess he kind of exploded on her. She's just not sure what to say to him." He rubbed his eyes in frustration.

"Did you um...do you love Carol?" I didn't think it would bother me to hear him say that, but my heart panged a little.

"I do. I never thought I would feel this way again, but she's an amazing woman." He must have seen the look on my face because he stepped forward and cradled me in his arms. "Kurt I know it's not easy to see me with someone else. I'll always love your mom, and I'll never forget about her. But I think that we all need each other, I think we could be a family."

That made me feel better. His hugs pretty much always have that effect.

"Thanks dad, I love you."

"I love you too kiddo."

I went downstairs, still contemplating Finn's dilemma. I wanted to do something to make him feel better. There must be a song I could sing to him.

Monday at school I felt like Finn was still giving me the cold shoulder. Obviously things hadn't worked themselves out, but I knew I had a great song for him at glee this afternoon.

When glee finally started, Mr. Schue started talking about some crazy Roller Disco something or other. I wasn't really paying attention, I had my own issues to deal with right now. Finally sick of his chatterbox-ness I stood up and asked to speak to the class.

I stood up in front of my peers and began. "What we all need right now is to explore the idea of a sense of place. And how if we find that place within, we'll get that happy ending." I gave Finn a weak smile as he looked at me quizzically.

Finn POV

It was hard to be mad at him when he gives me that adorable smile. I heard the piano notes gingerly played as Kurt locked eyes with me. I had been kind of a jerk to him this weekend. I still care for him a lot, and those steely greys felt like they were penetrating my heart. All I wanted right now was for the room to clear out so I could kiss those soft pink lips and apologize.

_A chair is still a chair_

_Even when there's no one sitting there._

It felt like he was making love to me with his gaze. I looked around the room to see if anyone else noticed.

"Are you gay?" Puck mouthed to me when I met his eyes. I turned away and put my attention back to Kurt. I smiled to encourage him.

_But a chair is not a house, and a house is not a home_

_When there's no one there, to hold you tight._

_And no one there, you can kiss goodnight._

_A room is still a room, even when there's nothing there but gloom_

_But a room is not a house._

_And a house is not a home when the two of us are far apart_

_And one of us has a broken heart._

_So darling, have a heart._

_Don't let one mistake keep us apart._

_Well I'm not meant to live alone, turn this house into a home._

_When I climb the stairs, and turn the key._

_Oh please be there. Still in love with me._

When he finished singing he turned away from me, but not before I saw the tears streaming down his cheek. I really hurt him, I can be such an asshole sometimes. I practically forced myself on him and then turned around and rejected him the next morning. I knew Kurt would be hanging out picking up the room after he sang so I left with everyone else not to look suspicious. I waited by my locker until I saw Brittany and Santana leave the room, they had their pinkies locked together and were smiling at each other. If I didn't know any better...

Now was my chance, Kurt would be in the room alone. I peeked through the window and saw him sitting at the piano stool with his back to the door. I cautiously opened the door, careful not to make any noise. I walked as lightly as my two left feet could but still managed to trip on a cord and fall on my face.

"Finn, oh my god, are you okay?" He rushed to my side as soon as he heard the commotion.

"Physically? Yea I'll be fine. I've gotten a lot worse in football." I inspected his eyes for more tears but found none. "Look Kurt...I was being kind of a dick all weekend. Especially Saturday morning. To both you and my mom. That song you just sang, it was so beautiful. And you're right, a house is only a home when there's people you care about there, people you love." I gave him a meaningful look when I said the last part.

He looked down at his knees coyly. I sat up and crossed my legs to sit in front of him. I took both of his velvety hands in mine and spoke once more.

"Kurt look at me."

He glanced up at me for a second, and the next thing I knew he was leaning forward to kiss me. He stopped at the corner of my mouth and then pulled away. Then leaned forward again and kiss the side of my neck. His face looked determined as he pulled my head down a bit and kiss my eyelid. Whatever he was doing as driving me wild. Then without warning he wrapped his hand in my hair and pulled me forward into his waiting lips. It was so passionate and fiery. I could feel the heat of his mouth against my lips and it drove me wild. But it ended as quickly as it came.

"I missed you so much. I know it hasn't been that long...but Finn you mean a lot to me. I sort of thought I lost you before I really even got you"

"You don't need to worry about that."

"Why?"

"Because I'm yours."

End of the chapter! What did you think? I added a couple of my favorite 'love' moments from another movie and another TV show. 10 points to whoever can guess them!

Read/Review please :)


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